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(Selfish)

by Reece Fuller

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1.
Intro 00:13
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If sex is art, and art is sex With beauty found within excess Then lets just rip our clothes apart And spit some poems from the heart
2.
I Been On My Own Shit Lately 00:52
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I been on my own shit lately No mistake makin, except with everything Severing heads in my head, it's a lie Livin in the livid like I'm ready to die I been on my own shit lately Alienate and levitate, focusin on betterin Repetitive, all of it in vain Settling for never in the belly of pain I been feelin homesick lately Home is where the heart is, lonely and departed Home is where I stay, but "the hole" is my reside Livin in the livid like I'm ready to die I been on my own shit lately No mistake makin, except with everything Severing heads in my head, it's a lie Livin in the livid like I'm ready to die
3.
Smacked-Brain Syndrome 00:45
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Sometimes when I close my eyes there's a flashing white light And it triggers fight or flight, Ima find a finer guide Sick of boozin every night After one too many shots taken made me cold faint Can't colour, can't word, can't paint The feelings of my shame when I woke up on the pavement Lookin like a caveman, feelin like grime Scabs on my forehead, steady on shine Never feelin fine, body readying for givin in Lack in a luck or remorse, or a discipline Jittery, vision isnt simmering Wishing that my misery was visiting but instead It brought a big bed, yeah the coziest chosen Bloated me, black bile coated me Gotta catch codeine and protein, woe is me Said edge is approaching me, it's Reece
4.
I Love Food 00:55
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I'm depressed, yet I'm riddled with glee I want mac n cheese or something else to that degree Poutine or a dog on a bun Sustenance is comforting, summer as the sun Winter's never done for, I am the one Always on the run but I'm common as they come Comedy of fugitive, life is so punitive Euthanasic suicide, beautify my tombstone Clog another artery absuing my renewed tone Life flashed a bit, I been steady healing since But the smack to my head has me feeling like a synth Keyed up and drawn out, taken in and squashed down I need a couple days to give my noggin a rinse Who's hoggin the absinthe? Not me tonight! Don't want another repeat of cold sweats and blurry lights But I don't wanna be mature in life
5.
Interlude 00:12
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6.
Yikes 00:16
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I keep waking up everyday With "I can't do it" written all on my face If you really liked the sting You'd keep smoking at that pace
7.
Moonshine 00:39
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Holdin the wreckage respecting anything I can But the nets are apparent and oh god I'm folding in the rotting of thoughts I been jotting all my energies The seventies were plentily, artistry but generally Even when I'm elderly I'll sell my voice and shred the weed Fidelity reality? Piece of my cheek has been painted with the pain Slumped off a blunt As ray would say it's the way of the road You smell like attraction, nicotine and pheromone Yada yada the Miata talks a lotta Half competent attempts to say what she aughta
8.
Dried Like Prunes 01:08
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I'm feeling like shite I wanna jus turn on my side But getting old bites, sold another sprite Buying my time with a shift I don't like Biding my life, gotta pay the bills Gotta get a ticket, gotta tally up a skill Gunna grow wrinkles with a bitter so shrill Every other second like I wanna pop pills Foamin at the mouth from the trauma, trauma Hospital visits, I don't wanna, wanna Self-medicate with marijuana, often Killin braincells til the coffin, proppin Cardboard scenery gets chewed by the script Life's a limp-dick, made for limp-dicks To geriatric and never bury the hatchet To match it, most meatheads you meet Want your weed or your skills or golden ticket receipt, it's weak
9.
Mosh Shit 00:52
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I want the snare to fuck my lungs I want the air the suffocate me I want the mosh to cradle me Lots of options, shove or punk step Lager beer and tequila shots I want you here, but I guess instead I'll push this punk chick and snag a selfie Fat Mike fucked up, what a great night Aren't we all just trying our best? 20-odd years just to get to this point Plenty off people were coped with this song Fuckin love this shit, they played Hope emotional There's a dark in my vision, and an art to my silence Winds on my back, sins in my livin Hate for a situation sick teens made Aren't we all just trying our best?
10.
Cat's On The Porch, I'm A Grown Up Baby 01:16
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I love that your cigarette breath is repulsive My hearts really throbbin, my brain is still pulsin This headache's been killin me, I feel that you been feelin me Perceptions only a snake eating it's tail Grass in my toes I remember grad drinks Stars in my eyes, side ears really sink To a tune by the wise--feelin so much lately Cat's on the porch--I'm a grown-up baby Nothin to do, nowhere to call home Time to blow cheques on the cellular phone Cheap thrills from expensive habits Shirley Temples to the temples and your sinuses jam it Lookin so pretentious, livin so fast Sick of this dimension, foot up on the gas My brain's a fuckin mess, these sounds they all surround me I see into the black with an adjective; profoundly
11.
Crying In Her Lap Again 00:48
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Give your whole life, take back the lint Time to go cry in her lap again Sobbin' a lot, and I'm laughin' a bit I'm manic, and I'm frantic, and I'm slappin' a brick
12.
About It (feat. atxmbxmb) 01:27
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All of you hi-fi rappers so minimal All about the dope flow, oh, I'm so cynical Andy Warhol off blunt and Bud Light Some won't go for broke, some might Ready to ruin my life for a gig Sales to the bidder and my life's on bid World's unimpressed by a shithead kid So I'll kick in shit while I'm kickin it, shit Bustin bud with buds, Bunsen burnin wrapped bud Mention dirty rat weed, guess I'm dirty rat, huh? Tapes so good that I'm summoning ghosts People really shocked that I'm doing the most I like the sounds make me sound like a demon Lofi punk-crust Casio Jesus Fuck the bass like a heavy metal band Just in case there is definitely deficit Cymbal in the middle of a kit so sick Never am I settling for bland Now take a second, leavin everybody guessin What my next move? I don't know what you suggesting Ask no questions, I don't need no help And I never learn a fuckin lesson, what's that? Smash my head up on the pavement Red Cararro on a lane switch I ain't sayin shit, but my eyes is Stick a needle in my fuckin iris I risk everything for an Audi R8 then the bitches would talk about me Maybe the bitches would flock about it Put some weed in the air and choke about it I don't toke with nobody that ain't about it Fuck anybody that ain't about it
13.
The Ballad of KJ and Jacob 00:26
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Jacob loves his life but he hates it lay KJs living day to day Every growing, ever loving both of them KJ and Jacob on the road again One tries to humble himself in recognizing fault One tries the same from the bottom to the top Both love cars, both work their day labor Both play favorites yet avoid taking favors Oh this life I lead, I will never leave, I will live Oh this life I lead, I will never leave, I will live Oh this life I lead, I will never leave, I will live Oh this life I lead, couple friends, all I need
14.
Affected, Hungry, and Weak 00:59
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As I stumble outside being born again Closing the door, no before to affect Freestyle down the street to the beat Of our feet moving forward and the phone's speaker peak Always lookin dirty and beat, I'm so tired Affected, hungry, and weak, I'm so wired Another bad habit that a radical manned Tryna stay affable when people say I'm laughable I swear the chapters are thinner Winds blowin pages to the winter Age has been the killer
15.
So Fuckin Bitter, So Fuckin Cold 01:03
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I sense my mentality is dwindling and thinning Crave another sinning, devils other bidding No matter how many times I tell myself winning Winter gets cold and reminds me a cynic Critically I'm bonkers, catchy-wise? so-so Meta-wise? shut up! Xanax, wine, and co-co Askin my best friend questions that he's used to 2 or 3 shots in the morning really moves you A couple nice words can't reverse years of proof Confidence is opposite to tears too true Autumn, right? Moon's in the daylight Messages affectin other people when I say like: So fuckin bitter, so fuckin cold Please tell me please, that's just not what getting old is Stomach fuckin sunken and my brain's foldin Please tell me please, I just need to get scolded
16.
Selfish 01:27
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Little glass piece takes really vast heat God, I'm so sorry that it didn't work out Lights on engine revolutions repeat I'm here if you need, I'm here if you need Little glass piece takes really vast heat God, I'm so sorry that it didn't work out Lights on engine revolutions repeat I'm here if you need, I'm here if you need I'm feelin unique, genetically freaked Back on my feet after crackin my knee Wanted stand free, people laughin at me It's ok to be Selfish Boost someone's confidence to boost your own confidence It's ok to be Selfish We all need someone to love us It's ok to be (SELFISH) We all need someone to love us It's ok to be (SELFISH) We all need someone to love us It's ok to be (SELFISH) We all need someone to love us It's ok to be (SELFISH)
17.
Selfless 01:14
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Cause everyone's feelings are more important than mine, apparently Can't have this nice one thing to me I'm sick of constant people please I can't stand up, I don't think I'll win If you see me that way, put me in the bin I was sick of always tryna get along anyway Anyways It's like trying my best overdoes it or something Someone's always tryna tell me no fun People like the fake me, so I just sedate me Guess I'm too real, people can't take me Snow's falling heavy, breath is visible, your kissable I'm miserable Feelings getting visceral I was sick of always tryna get along anyway Anyways
18.
Outro 00:45
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19.
753911 06:08
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You ain't got a one man band You just want a fund for your sadness Tryna get by with no talent, challenged Ima sing-song like a natural, uh Tryna get through to the music Gunna get knowledge, gunnin to use it I would never lie for a band And still Ima sing-song like a natural, uh Ima get high two times Ima smoke out on the porch Ima get sly with the rhyme Ima get slick when I do it baby, uh Queue the lights, improve my life The bud was blue, I blew it twice Persue the knife, abusin to use it I choose to lose my grip on life I can see through, I'm the one that did it If you come through Ima eat you Mama never beat you Everything you do's so see-through Ima backwash a whole catalogue Animal, clearin all datalogs Actin like a primate Monkey sees it's angery Orangutan on Tanqueray My stream is full, the tank is E My brain is weak The days and weeks and months all blend to haze for me "Wait til' she's fallen asleep, that's when they killed her" Since a kid, little spittin image, I was such a misfit Gettin damage, I'm a Descendent, I Like Food No one really drops what I'm tryna do Allular: money? never get it Hallraker, audience repellent Obtain the dollars then end it -- Two lives so cold in a box Two souls and my thoughts won't stop Spit another entry from the diary Tryna find ways they admire me Self-made hell-scape fiery Only I'll retire me Maybe I don't belong here Write another sad song, cheers Sip some beers, pass the bud Blacken the lung Take enough drink that the kraken would drown Pass it around And again and again And again and again Gimme the gin, then gimme then do it again Do it again Pass the bud, blacken the lung Take enough drink that the kraken would drown Pass it around again And again and again

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Written and recorded October - Novmeber 2022

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released January 13, 2023

All songs written and composed by me, with my Casio CTK-2100

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Reece Fuller British Columbia

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